It's been just a few years ago that I was a new mom who felt the burning and curious stares of adults and children alike. I occasionally heard comments uttered like, "what's wrong with him"? I remember the first time clearly. I was at a shopping mall with my mom and sister. We stopped by a children's play area when it happened. This little girl kept staring at Red Shoes, and she said to her friend, "he's scary"! My heart was broken. I couldn't even believe her cruelty. And what was even worse? I had no idea how to handle it.
I've wanted to shield Red Shoes from the harshness of the world as much as I could, so there's been many times that I've done nothing. He didn't understand what was happening, and I felt confronting it would just bring more attention to the situation. As he's gotten older, I've dealt with it by giving some pretty mean looks and/or saying, "be nice" very, very sternly to kids. So far it has worked. As for the adults that look at us with curiosity...most of the time I just give them my biggest, brightest smile and try to show them how happy I am...because I am.
So why am I writing about this? A few weeks ago Red Shoes had a routine eye exam. I took Happy Feet and Swoosh along too. We had a little bit of a wait and for the very first time Happy Feet really noticed the other children that were at the clinic waiting to be seen. There were kids with patches on their eyes and one little girl who was in a wheelchair. Happy Feet had a lot of questions about it, and at times she wasn't very quiet about asking them. This was the first time I was on this side...and it wasn't easy either.
There were two little red headed boys who also noticed the girl in the wheelchair. They kept asking the girls dad why she couldn't hold her head up. It was pretty evident that the father just didn't feel up to answering their questions that morning. Sometimes as the parent of a special needs child you just want to go someplace and not be noticed...you just want to be. The boys weren't being mean, they just didn't understand, and boy did their mom look like she wanted to crawl out of her skin.
Later that day I talked to the kids a little more about that morning. I explained that children come in all shapes and sizes. Some can do things that others cannot, some walk, some ride, some talk, some sign...they are all different and that's okay...actually that's beautiful. I explained that our God above created all of them and He loves them all. I also explained that they can always come to me with their questions, but they need to be respectful about it.
Being a parent is hard. It's important for us to teach our kids (special needs or not) where their value lies. They need to know that they were wonderfully made in the image of God, and that their soul is more precious than all worldly things. If they can grasp that, they will be able to endure anything. I firmly believe that.
I would love to hear about how you've handled stuff like this. What are your thoughts? Please share... Pin It
